The confusing age of youth !!

August 12, 2010

(August 12 is International Youth Day)

A changeover from innocent childhood to a decent youth is what everyone would like to witness in every growing and budding kid. Youth is an age where excitement, aggression and confusion is rolled into one, and yet it is a testing phase of one’s life. The major decision of selecting a career is sealed during this period.

Stepping into adolescence is like entering turbulent storm when you come out from the cosseted days of care, schooling and utmost nurturing. The age of youth hood will make you or break you, put you down in the dust or help you scale newer heights for the greater glory of your grand future. We should be able to differentiate between what would be a right thing and what might be wrong, because a little hiccup and all could be lost forever.

We stand at the threshold of time where life is taking a U-turn. The pressure to excel has superseded the necessity of survival. The true essence and purpose of life is losing grounds because a majority youth spend their time in tuition classes, chilling out with friends and watching TV and gaming. They are not eager to dream larger than life and think more than what people say is practical although most of them are capable with hidden potentials that lay rusted. Most of the adolescents are satisfied with what they get. But one thing is certain under high heaven, we need to walk the untrodden path to achieve the unimaginable dream.

Our youth of today get carried away easily by the endless things available for them. They invest more time in unfruitful activities rather than doing things which would eventually benefit themselves and society as a whole.

True that youth is a time for developing independence. But adolescents typically exercise their authority by questioning their parent’s rules, which at times leads to rule breaking. Take for example, a young lad in his early teen drinks at a pub and comes home late at night. What does that reflect? Indeed this gives a bad impression about his upbringing and parenting. More this becomes a vicious circle and his colleagues get influenced and driven by it. Other friends also feel the itch to try out stuffs like this. It only takes a try or two in order to make this habit a permanent one. Moreover this kind of attitude builds on to ruin life.

teen

nvbc.org

Teenage years are a funny time in life when the person faces up to several new problems. But the biggest problem is they go about hunting for solutions and answers to the wrong people, later on coming to a regretted conclusion.

Discussing case sensitive issues like bodily changes and sexual attractions with their parents often ends up in an awkward scenario. Because most of the parents do not welcome, rather not too open about such issues. Many a time we observe situations where youth are found discussing such matters with their colleagues and friends, only to be misguided. The parents play a vital role to get their boy or girl into the comfort zone wherein they would feel the real satisfaction of having spoken about such matter with their parents. An understanding and sympathy oriented approach will always win in the end. Adolescents who feel warmth and support from their parents are less likely to engage in risky behavior. Also, adolescents who parents convey clear expectations regarding their children’s behavior and show consistent limit setting and monitoring are less likely to engage in risky behavior. Definitely authoritative parenting is a parenting style in which children participate in establishing family expectation
s and rules. This parenting style, as opposed to harsh or permissive parenting, is most likely to promote mature behavior.

Authoritative parents typically use a system of graduated privileges, in which adolescents initially are given small bits of responsibility and freedom like doing household chores, picking out clothing, caring for a pet. If adolescents handle this responsibility well then may over a period of time, more privileges are granted. Each new privilege requires close monitoring by the parents to make sure adolescents comply with agreed on rules. These are some rare occasions where some parents and adolescents clash over almost everything. In such situations, the core issue is really control Adolescents want to feel in control of their lives and parents want their teens to realize, they are still boss.

Youth whose behavior is dangerous or otherwise unacceptable despite their parents best efforts should be given professional intervention failing which we would be unable to predict the odds. Substance abuse is a common trigger of behavioral problems, and substance use disorders require specific treatment. Age of youth brings in different, newer, first time episodes. Gang Membership linked with violent behavior is one of them. Our youth though not all, indulge in self formed associations adopting a particular name, symbol of existence, style of clothing etc so on and so forth. This could be limited by reducing our adolescent’s excess Media violence exposure, prevent them from watching movies, provoking indulgence into fights and crimes. Weapons should be kept out of reach from aggressive, hot tempered youth and the pros and cons should be explained to them.

Wrong, unrealistic ideologies watched in movies about friendship and courtship develops. Although we have heard so much of debate on the topic whether sex education should be made Mandatory in school, I strongly feel it is sort of necessary. Youth are unaware and often misled about many a thing they would like to know. STD (sexually transmitted disease) is a cause of concern among the younger generation, basically the higher strata of society who indulge in pre-marital relationship without knowing the after effects.

Various precautionary measures could be highlighted through sex-education. For eg the importance of using contraceptive to avoid unwanted pregnancy and moreover abortion. Sex education generally covers the issues of virginity, pregnancy, body changes, legal age for sex and marriage, when a certain act would be a sexual offences etc. By this a student become aware of the world around him and begins to differentiate right and wrong.

Alcoholism is another teething trouble faced by the youth of today. About 72% of high school seniors report having tried alcohol, although only 58% say they have ever been drunk. Society and the Media portray drinking alcohol as acceptable or even fashionable. Alcohol consumed in any form be it whisky, beer, rum, vodka is 100% injurious to health. Moreover drunkards are not liked by anyone personally although movies portray A-class glamour. Many a times we often hear youngsters say, they drink because they feel relieved of their worries and stress. They do not realize that consumption of alcohol infact increases their hassle and anxiety; all in all it adds a new set of health concerns, aggravating liver and heart diseases. Despite influence from media, society and surroundings, parents can make a difference by conveying clear expectation to their children regarding drinking, setting limits consistently and monitoring. On the other hand, adolescents whose family members drink excessive may think this behavior is acceptable.

Some adolescents who try alcohol go on to develop an alcohol use disorder, such as abuse or dependence. Risk factors for developing a disorder include starting drinking at a young age. Adolescents who have a family member with an alcohol use disorder should be made aware of their increased risk and susceptibility. Suicidal thoughts creep into the mind. Cases of suicide have risen to 12% in the last decade. Factors that trigger suicide are high stress, loss of boyfriend or girlfriend, poor performances which does not improve unwanted pregnancy, family instability and many more. Such problems should be dealt along with positive approach and with utmost care.

Teenagers generally begin to smoke cigarettes during this period. Youngsters feel such stuff is cool and provides mood elevation. Most of the active smokers do not realize the dreadful disease that comes along with smoking. Risk of lung cancer, is highest among smokers. Factors that increase the likelihood of an adolescent smoking are having parents who smoke or peers and role models mainly celebrities who smoke. Poor performance, poor self-esteem a feeling of dejection in life are high risk factors which are associated often with smoking. Youngsters could be prevented from smoking by making them understand the ill-effects of smoking and the diseases related to it. Parents can help prevent their adolescent from smoking by being positive role models, openly discussing hazards of tobacco and supporting them in seeking medical assistance if necessary.

Home environment and family have a great impact on the developing minds of teenagers and these developments may reach a climax. A strong foundation of spirituality and religion should be stressed upon so that youngsters realize the presence of the Divine in their life. Stepping into college life, making friends with people from cross cultural barriers and peer pressure should be carefully looked into because peer pressure which plays a crucial role may lead to activities not deemed socially acceptable if not closely monitored although this may be more of a social phenomenon.

Mobiles, movies, websites, videos, sports music, TV are heavily marketed and popular among youth. But one should understand what the priorities in life are. What are our primary goals? This cannot be taught to anybody by anyone. We have to draw our own conclusions. Parents work hard enough to pump in the money needed for education and recreation. At least for this sake we should remember our purpose of existence and try give something in return. I don’t deny, youth is an age where paradoxes reign supreme but be prepared and focused for highs and lows because you’ll have it all. Never quit because of anxiety, depression, and failure. No matter what, live the grandeur of your dream. Above all don’t let the noise of other peoples opinion settle in your mind, listen to your own voice and follow where it leads… lastly remember your life is yours to design, so make it all it can be! At this juncture I wish you many sweet victories.

More from Edmond Fernandes:

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* Mangalore: A Passing Glimpse Of Change
* Are networking sites a paradoxical blessing? – think again!!
* Institute of a different genre: AIMIT, Beeri
* Face off with Gopal Hosur
* Sound Sleep: An Ignored Importance
* Religion - The Way I See It
* April Fool Was Born Today!!
* The Virtue Called Humility: Easter of Change
* Chromosome & HIV: A Nobel Insight



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Ram Puniyani
January 9,2020

‘Go to Pakistan’ has probably been most often used phrase used against Muslims in India. Recently in yet another such incident the SP of Meerut, UP has been in the news and a video is circulating where he, Akhilesh Narayan Singh, is allegedly using the jibe ‘Go to Pakistan’. In the video he is seen shouting at protestors at Lisari Gate area in Meerut, “The ones (protestors) wearing those black or yellow armbands, tell them to go to Pakistan”. His seniors stood by him calling it ‘natural reaction to shouting of pro Pakistan slogans. Many BJP leaders like Uma Bhararti also defended the officer. Breaking ranks with fellow politicians, Mukhtar Abbas Naqvi of BJP, criticised the said officer and asked for suitable action against him. Interestingly this is same Naqvi, who earlier when the beef related arguments were going on; had stated that those who want to eat beef can go to Pakistan.

Interestingly this is probably the first time that any BJP leader has opposed the use of this jibe against the Indian Muslims. True to the dominance of trolls who support divisive politics, Naqvi has been trolled on the issue. As such vibe ‘Go to Pakistan’ has been a strong tool in the hands of aggressive elements to demonise Muslims in general and to humiliate those with Muslim names. One recalls that when due to the rising intolerance in the society many eminent writers, film makers were returning their awards, Aamir Khan said that his wife Kiran Rao is worried about their son. Immediately BJP worthies like Giriraj Singh pounced on him that he can go to Pakistan.

The strategy of BJP combine has been on one hand to use this ‘go to Pakistan’ to humiliate Muslims on the other from last few years another Pakistan dimension has been added. Those who are critical of the policies of BJP-RSS have on one hand been called as anti National and on the other it is being said that ‘they are speaking the language of Pakistan’.

Use of Pakistan to label the Muslims and dissidents here in India has been a very shrewd tool in the hands of communal forces. One remembers that the ‘cricket nationalism’ was also the one to use it. In case of India-Pakistan cricket match, the national hysteria, which it created, was also aiming at Indian Muslims. What was propagated was that Indian Muslims cheer for Pakistan victory and they root for Pakistan. There was an unfortunate grain of truth in this as a section of disgruntled, alienated Muslim did that. That was not the total picture, as most Indian Muslims were cheering for Indian victory. Many a Muslim cricketers contributed massively to Indian cricket victories. The cricket legends like Nawab Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi, Irfan Pathan, and Mohammad Azaruddin are just the few among the long list of those who brought glories for India in the field of cricket.

Even in matters of defence there are legions of Muslims who contributed to Indian efforts in the war against Pakistan all through. Abdul Hamid’s role in 1965 India Pak war and the role of Muslim soldiers in Kargil war will be part of Indian military history. There have been generals in army who contributed in many ways for the role which military has been playing in service of the nation. General Zamiruddin Shah, when asked to handle Gujarat carnage, does recount how despite the lack of support from local administration for some time, eventually the military was able to quell the violence in some ways.

During freedom movement Muslims were as much part of the struggle against British rule as any other community. While the perception has been created that Muslims were demanding Pakistan, the truth is somewhere else. It was only the elite section of Muslims who supported the politics of Muslim League and later the same Muslim League could mobilize some other section and unleash the violence like ‘Direct Action’ in Kolkata, which in a way precipitated the actual process of partition, which was the goal of British and aim of Muslim League apart from this being the outcome of ‘Two Nation theory’.

Not much is popularized about the role of great number of Muslims who were part of National movement, who steadfastly opposed the idea and politics which led to the sad partition of the subcontinent. Few excellent accounts of the role of Muslims in freedom movement like Syed Nasir Ahmad, Ubaidur Rahman, Satish Ganjoo and Shamsul Islam are few of these not too well know books which give the outline of the great Muslim freedom fighters like Khan Abdul Gaffar Khan, Maulana Abul Kalam Azad, Ansari Brothers, Ashfaqulla Khan.

Immediately after partition tragedy the communal propaganda did the overdrive to blame the whole partition process on Muslim separatism, this totally undermined the fact that how poor Muslims had taken out massive marches to oppose the Lahore Resolution of separate Pakistan moved by Mohammad Ali Jinnah. The whole Muslim community started being seen as the homogenous, ‘The other’ and other misconceptions started against the community, the one’s relating them to atrocities of Muslim kings started being made as the part of popular folklore, leading the Hate against them. This Hate in turn laid the foundation of violence and eventual ghettoisation of this community.

The interactive-syncretism prevalent in India well presented by Gandhi-Nehru was pushed to the margins as those believing in pluralism did not actively engage with the issue. The economic marginalization of this community, coupled with the increasing insecurity in turn led to some of them to identify with Pakistan, and this small section was again presented as the representative of the whole Muslim community.

Today the battle of perception is heavily tilted against the Muslim community. It is a bit of a surprise as Naqvi is differing from his other fellow colleagues to say that the action should be taken against the erring police officer. The hope is that all round efforts are stepped up to combat the perception constructed against this religious minority in India. 

Comments

Prakash SS
 - 
Thursday, 9 Jan 2020

it is very much understandable if Pakistan is bad country our PM Namo would never visited without any invitation, that time Pakistan was good he prised their Mutton biriyani and Karak chai in pakistan. we feel something is wrong with our PM and his chelas. 

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Ram Puniyani
February 22,2020

This January 2020, it is thirty years since the Kashmiri Pundits’ exodus from the Kashmir valley took place. They had suffered grave injustices, violence and humiliation prior to the migration away from the place of their social and cultural roots in Kashmir Valley. The phenomenon of this exodus had been due to the communalization of militancy in Kashmir in the decade of 1980s. While no ruling Government has applied itself enough to ‘solve’ this uprooting of pundits from their roots, there are communal elements who have been aggressively using ‘what about Kashmiri Pundits?’, every time liberal, human rights defenders talk about the plight of Muslim minority in India. This minority is now facing an overall erosion of their citizenship rights.

Time and over again in the aftermath of communal violence in particular, the human rights groups have been trying to put forward the demands for justice and rehabilitation of the victim minority. Instead of being listened to those particularly from Hindu nationalist combine, as a matter of routine shout back, where were you when Kashmiri Pundits were driven away from the Valley? In a way the tragedy being heaped on one minority is being justified in the name of suffering of Pundits and in the process violence is being normalized. This sounds as if two wrongs make a right, as if the suffering Muslim minority or those who are trying to talk in defense of minority rights have been responsible for the pain of Kashmiri Pundits.

During these three, many political formations have come to power, including BJP, Congress, third front and what have you. To begin with when the exodus took place Kashmir was under President’s rule and V. P. Singh Government was in power at the center. This Government had the external support of BJP at that time. Later BJP led NDA came to power for close to six years from 1998, under the leadership of Atal Bihari Vajpayee. Then from 2014 it is BJP, with Narerda Modi as PM, with BJP brute majority is in power. Other components of NDA are there to enjoy some spoils of power without any say in the policies being pursued by the Government. Modi is having absolute power with Amit Shah occasionally presenting Modi’s viewpoints.

Those blurting, ‘what about Kashmiri Pundits?’ are using it as a mere rhetoric to hide their communal color. The matters of Kashmir are very disturbing and cannot be attributed to be the making of Indian Muslims as it is being projected in an overt and subtle manner. Today, of course the steps taken by the Modi Government, that of abrogation of Article 370, abolition of clause 35 A, downgrading the status of Kashmir from a state to union territory have created a situation where the return of Kashmiri Pundits may have become more difficult, as the local atmosphere is more stifling and the leaders with democratic potential have been slapped with Public Safety Act, where they can be interned for long time without any answerability to the Courts. The internet had been suspended, communication being stifled in an atmosphere where democratic freedoms are curtailed which makes solution of any problem more difficult.

Kashmir has been a vexed issue where the suppression of the clause of autonomy, leading to alienation led to rise of militancy. This was duly supported by Pakistan. The entry of Al Qaeda elements, who having played their role against Russian army in 1980s entered into Kashmir and communalized the situation in Kashmir. The initial Kashmir militancy was on the grounds of Kashmiriyat. Kashmiriyat is not Islam, it is synthesis of teachings of Buddha, values of Vedant and preaching’s of Sufi Islam. The tormenting of Kashmiri Pundits begins with these elements entering Kashmir.

Also the pundits, who have been the integral part of Kashmir Valley, were urged upon by Goodwill mission to stay on, with local Muslims promising to counter the anti Pundit atmosphere. Jagmohan, the Governor, who later became a minister in NDA Government, instead of providing security to the Pundits thought, is fit to provide facilities for their mass migration. He could have intensified counter militancy and protected the vulnerable Pundit community. Why this was not done?

Today, ‘What about Kashmiri Pundits?’ needs to be given a serious thought away from the blame game or using it as a hammer to beat the ‘Muslims of India’ or human rights defenders? The previous NDA regime (2014) had thought of setting up enclosures of Pundits in the Valley. Is that a solution? Solution lies in giving justice to them. There is a need for judicial commission to identify the culprits and legal measures to reassure the Pundit community. Will they like to return if the high handed stifling atmosphere, with large number of military being present in the area? The cultural and religious spaces of Pundits need to be revived and Kashmiryat has to be made the base of any reconciliation process.

Surely, the Al Qaeda type elements do not represent the alienation of local Kashmiris, who need to be drawn into the process of dialogue for a peaceful Kashmir, which is the best guarantee for progress in this ex-state, now a Union territory. Communal amity, the hallmark of Kashmir cannot be brought in by changing the demographic composition by settling outsiders in the Valley. A true introspection is needed for this troubled area. Democracy is the only path for solving the emigration of Pundits and also of large numbers of Muslims, who also had to leave the valley due to the intimidating militancy and presence of armed forces in large numbers. One recalls Times of India report of 5th February 1992 which states that militants killed 1585 people from January 1990 to October 1992 out of which 982 were Muslims and 218 Hindus.

We have been taking a path where democratic norms are being stifled, and the promises of autonomy which were part of treaty of accession being ignored. Can it solve the problem of Pundits?

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Ram Puniyani
January 14,2020

In the beginning of January 2020 two very disturbing events were reported from Pakistan. One was the attack on Nankana Sahib, the holy shrine where Sant Guru Nanak was born. While one report said that the place has been desecrated, the other stated that it was a fight between two Muslim groups. Prime Minister of Pakistan Imran Khan condemned the incident and the main accused Imran Chisti was arrested. The matter related to abduction and conversion of a Sikh girl Jagjit Kaur, daughter of Pathi (One who reads Holy Guru Granth Sahib in Gurudwara) of the Gurudwara. In another incident one Sikh youth Ravinder Singh, who was out on shopping for his marriage, was shot dead in Peshawar.

While these condemnable attacks took place on the Sikh minority in Pakistan, BJP was quick enough to jump to state that it is events like this which justify the Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA). Incidentally CAA is the Act which is discriminatory and relates to citizenship with Religion, which is not as per the norms of Indian constitution. There are constant debates and propaganda that population of Hindus has come down drastically in Pakistan and Bangla Desh. Amit Shah, the Home minister stated that in Pakistan the population of Hindus has come down from 23% at the time of partition to 3.7% at present. And in Bangla Desh it has come down from 22% to present 8%.

While not denying the fact that the religious minorities are getting a rough deal in both these countries, the figures which are presented are totally off the mark. These figures don’t take into consideration the painful migrations, which took place at the time of partition and formation of Bangla Desh later. Pakistan census figures tell a different tale. Their first census was held in 1951. As per this census the overall percentage of Non Muslim in Pakistan (East and West together) was 14.2%, of this in West Pakistan (Now Pakistan) it was 3.44 and in Eat Pakistan it was 23.2. In the census held in Pakistan 1998 it became 3.72%. As far as Bangla Desh is concerned the share of Non Muslims has gone down from 23.2 (1951) to 9.6% in 2011.

The largest minority of Pakistan is Ahmadis, (https://minorityrights.org/country/pakistan/) who are close to 4 Million and are not recognised as Muslims in Pakistan. In Bangla Desh the major migrations of Hindus from Bangla Desh took place in the backdrop of Pakistan army’s atrocities in the then East Pakistan.

As far as UN data on refugees in India it went up by 17% between 2016-2019 and largest numbers were from Tibet and Sri Lanka.  (https://www.un.org/en/development/desa/population/migration/publication…)

The state of minorities is in a way the index of strength of democracy. Most South Asian Countries have not been able to sustain democratic values properly. In Pakistan, the Republic began with Jinnah’s classic speech where secularism was to be central credo of Pakistan. This 11th August speech was in a way what the state policy should be, as per which people of all faiths are free to practice their religion. Soon enough the logic of ‘Two Nation theory” and formation of Pakistan, a separate state for Muslim took over. Army stepped in and dictatorship was to reign there intermittently. Democratic elements were suppressed and the worst came when Zia Ul Haq Islamized the state in collusion with Maulanas. The army was already a strong presence in Pakistan. The popular formulation for Pakistan was that it is ruled by three A’s, Army, America and Allah (Mullah).

Bangla Desh had a different trajectory. Its very formation was a nail in the coffin of ‘two nation theory’; that religion can be the basis of a state. Bangla Desh did begin as a secular republic but communal forces and secular forces kept struggling for their dominance and in 1988 it also became Islamic republic. At another level Myanmar, in the grip of military dictatorship, with democratic elements trying to retain their presence is also seeing a hard battle. Democracy or not, the army and Sanghas (Buddhist Sang has) are strong, in Myanmar as well. The most visible result is persecution of Rohingya Muslims.

Similar phenomenon is dominating in Sri Lanka also where Budhhist Sanghas and army have strong say in the political affairs, irrespective of which Government is ruling. Muslim and Christian minorities are a big victim there, while Tamils (Hindus, Christians etc.) suffered the biggest damage as ethnic and religious minorities. India had the best prospect of democracy, pluralism and secularism flourishing here. The secular constitution, the outcome of India’s freedom struggle, the leadership of Gandhi and Nehru did ensure the rooting of democracy and secularism in a strong way.

India so far had best democratic credentials amongst all the south Asian countries. Despite that though the population of minorities rose mainly due to poverty and illiteracy, their overall marginalisation was order of the day, it went on worsening with the rise of communal forces, with communal forces resorting to identity issues, and indulging in propaganda against minorities.

While other South Asian countries should had followed India to focus more on infrastructure and political culture of liberalism, today India is following the footsteps of Pakistan. The retrograde march of India is most visible in the issues which have dominated the political space during last few years. Issues like Ram Temple, Ghar Wapasi, Love Jihad, Beef-Cow are now finding their peak in CAA.

India’s reversal towards a polity with religion’s identity dominating the political scene was nicely presented by the late Pakistani poetess Fahmida Riaz in her poem, Tum bhi Hum Jaise Nikle (You also turned out to be like us). While trying to resist communal forces has been an arduous task, it is becoming more difficult by the day. This phenomenon has been variously called, Fundamentalism, Communalism or religious nationalism among others. Surely it has nothing to do with the religion as practiced by the great Saint and Sufi traditions of India; it resorts mainly to political mobilization by using religion as a tool.

Comments

Ashi
 - 
Tuesday, 14 Jan 2020

If Malaysia implement similar NRC/CAA, India and China are the loser.

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