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At the age of 15, I had a proud feeling of being a grown up. I felt as if I had learnt enough, followed enough. SSLC exams were approaching. I could see that expression of seriousness regarding exams writ large on the faces of first benchers. Suma, Riya, Sweety, Michelle - prominent among the nerds of our class, spent maximum time with their books whereas my group always indulged in hunting for new fashion trends. Their bags carried text books whereas ours spilled fashion magazines every time they were opened. Their shopping list consisted of pens, books, scales, card sheets etc. our list, on the contrary, was a long list consisting of fancy attires, nail polish, lenses, heels, denim, etc.
The fact that the minds of all first benchers were always bubbling with too many doubts, queries got on our nerves because we never felt like questioning our teachers. That very thought made us squeal in disgust. Whatever they taught was blindly copied down, irrespective of whether we understood it or not. Our eyes would zoom in on our branded watches as we were desperate for that tough one hour to end soon. Tempted by the tales that we had heard of our super seniors bunking classes, we tried doing it. But as bad luck would have it, we were caught and our attendance of the whole week was cancelled. We were punished severely. Strangely, we felt proud about being tagged the naughtiest group of our class! With each passing day, there were changes in us. Our lifestyles resembled those portrayed in serials and movies, and we looked like spitting images of the characters in it! Those were the days wherein films tried to depict and imitate real life. Now it’s vice versa. Our sir always warned us regarding our bad behaviour. Every time we chewed gum during hindi class, Nasir sir always asked us to spit it out. In return, we had angry expressions on our faces!
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Completing assignments and notes was the hardest thing we could be ever asked to do. In fact, every time the teacher asked us to submit them, we would plead the toppers of our class to complete them for us. A beauty tip was passed on to them as a token of thanks. Joining tuition classes was considered mandatory and mom forced me to join it, just like every other kid in our block and society. It seemed more of a trend to join tuitions paying heavy fees. Though it helped many, to me it seemed like an addition to my “sleeping hours” apart from school hours. Bunking tuitions wasn’t an issue and I kept doing it as attendance wasn’t compulsory. I attended tuition classes only on days when I would be wearing trendy attires! At the age of 15, I felt all elders were boring and simply can’t digest the fact that I need to enjoy my life the way I want to. Common lines that our teachers preached were, “We have passed your age group. We know how it feels like. But studies are important. You must lend first priority to it.” These golden words seemed like just another one of those boring lectures we heard every day. My family had always given me enough space and held a belief that one must learn their own lessons, be it the hard way or the easier one. They had great confidence and trust in me in spite of my teachers constantly complaining about my careless behaviour.
One fine day at the breakfast table, my mom said “I don’t know what’s wrong with today’s children. They behave as if they know everything. They are hardly 18 yet the fools think they are smarter than their parents. She laughed and asked my opinion. My reply was “Hmmm… Yeah, I wonder the same, there are so many in our class too.” My mom hugged me saying, “I know things are changing but I definitely trust my princess. I know you’ll pay heed to your studies and not be carried away by your craze for fashion. I trust you my girl.” Later, as I was on my way to school, I kept wondering- how could she have such immense trust in me?! I spend nearly 8 hours away from home and I am terribly naughty at school and during extra classes. I hardly study, yet she calls me her “darling princess”. That day, I was silent as these thoughts kept haunting me and making me feel guilty. I tried to converse with the first benchers and they seemed perplexed seeing me approach them the first time for a reason apart from assignment completion. That day I paid attention to all lectures and gradually many doubts occurred in my mind. I questioned my teachers, leaving them dumbstruck looking at the drastic change in me. I attended tuitions willingly, and at last the day came to an end.
At night, my parents came to wish me good night. I was closing my eyes as I had no guts to face them. My soul was aware that I was wrong. Dad kissed me on my forehead and talked to mom saying “I know you were worried because of Arpita’s tender age. But don’t worry she can never go wrong. She is our beloved daughter and our upbringing can never go wrong.” They then left my room. I hugged my teddy, feeling shattered, realizing that sometimes true love and trust can leave you feeling ashamed in case you can’t stand up to it. I took a vow to change myself. It was not late to do so. I promised myself that the next morning I would introduce a “New Arpita” to the world! I woke up early wishing my teddy good morning. It seemed like the sun encouraged me, filling me with a new zeal. I thought of setting up a time table and following it strictly. At school, my teachers were happy with the improvements in me. Noticing the changes in me, even my friends started following me. Days rolled on, I wrote my exams well and the results also came out good.
Everything had changed and I wasn’t guilty anymore. Now at the breakfast table, I asked mom “May I join dance classes?” Her reply was a yes. She added, “Carry some extra with the fees. Wait, I’ll join you for shopping.” I denied the idea saying, “Some other day mom1 Sometimes I feel I really don’t deserve all this.” Her response was, “Oh Princess! You surely do deserve all this happiness. I understand you feel like trying out weird things. But later you realize the consequences and find out what’s right and what’s wrong. Come on! Get ready now!”
This took place a long time back. I can never forget it because it was the turning point in my life, one which made a huge difference. Teenage is that phase wherein lots of trust and love is required to be showered by parents on their children. Problems can never be set straight with strict lectures, stern looks or locking children in dark rooms. It simply adds to their restlessness, frustration and anger. Love can mould every stubborn kid into a sweet, responsible one.
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