Growing up Afghanistan: ‘My parents were told to swap me for a boy’

Agencies
December 1, 2018

Kabul, Dec 1: When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in the village.

Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.

Nargis now campaigns for women's education and empowerment in her home country, and is one of the BBC's 2018 100 Women, according to a BBC News report.

"In 1997, I opened my eyes to the world as my parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl," said Nargis.

"My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife. Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new chance to have a male child."

When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy. They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me.

Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.

"People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel inferior for not having a son. Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father. But he had a completely different mentality. He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can.

"It was not an easy time for my father. He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies.

"So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us.

But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word. Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character.

"Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district. In 1998, my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there.

"Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory. Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister.

"In 2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled. We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles. My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.

"I went on to study public policy and administration at Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year. Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me.

"A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister. There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media. People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men. Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans.

"When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear. You have done the right thing. I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots. Life is short. Enjoy it as much as you can."

"My father died of cancer earlier this year. In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.

"Three years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni. I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties because of the security situation. My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.

"In the end I was unable to travel to my native village because it was simply too dangerous. One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.

"In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment.

I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job.

"I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day. When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.

"I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.

"In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice.

"It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.

"Family is also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family.

"They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life. If they resist then I will try and change their minds. I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise.

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Agencies
May 18,2020

Jeddah, May 18: Saudi Arabia’s Grand Mufti and head of the Council of Senior Scholars and the Department of Scientific Research and Ifta Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al Asheikh ruled that it is permissible to perform Eid Al-Fitr prayer at home under exceptional circumstances similar to the current pandemic situation. The prayer consists of two rakats with reciting more numbers of takbeer and without a sermon.

Speaking to Okaz/Saudi Gazette, he said that Zakat Al-Fitr could be distributed through charitable societies if they are reliable ones, with the condition that it should be distributed before the day of Eid. The Grand Mufti urged parents to bring joy and happiness to their children and their families by spending more on them.

Meanwhile, Sheikh Abdul Salam Abdullah Al-Sulaiman, member of the Council of Senior Scholars and the Standing Committee of Fatwa, said that Eid prayer could be performed individually or in congregation.

Speaking to Okaz/Saudi Gazette, he said that the worshiper will recite takbeer to start salat and then follow it with six more takbeer in the first rakat before reciting Fatiha loudly and then it is ideal to recite Surah Al-Qaf.

In the second rakat, there will be five takbeer after the takbeer at the start of the rakat before starting to recite Surah Fatiha and then Surah Al-Qamar, following the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him). It is also ideal to recite Surah Al-A’la and Al-Ghashiya instead of Al-Qaf and Al-Qamar in each rakat respectively.

Sheikh Al-Sulaiman also cited the example of Anas Bin Malik, a prominent companion of the Prophet (pbuh). When Anas (May Allah be pleased with him), was at his home in Zawiya, a place near Basra, he did not find any Eid congregation prayer and therefore he performed prayer along with his family members and his aide Abdullah Bin Abi Otba.

The scholar said that the time for Eid prayer begins after sunrise and the best time is after the sun rises by the height of one or two spears as agreed by most scholars. This means 15 or 30 minutes after sunrise and its time continues until the end of the time of the Duha prayer; that is before the Zuhr prayer begins.

The prayer is forbidden at the moment when the sun rises, and the majority of jurists, including the schools of thought of Shafi, Maliki, and Hanbali opposed prayer at sunrise and favored to perform the prayer only after the sun rises by the height of one or two spears in the sky.

Regarding the recitation of takbeer on the occasion of Eid Al-Fitr, Sheikh Al-Suleiman said that it should begin during the night of the Eid and continue until the beginning of the Eid prayer.

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News Network
April 12,2020

Apr 12: India and other South Asian countries are likely to record their worst growth performance in four decades this year due to the coronavirus outbreak, the World Bank said on Sunday.

The South Asian region, comprising eight countries, is likely to show economic growth of 1.8 per cent to 2.8 per cent this year, the World Bank said in its South Asia Economic Focus report, well down from the 6.3 per cent it projected six months ago.

India's economy, the region's biggest, is expected to grow 1.5 per cent to 2.8 per cent in the fiscal year that started on April 1. The World Bank has estimated it will grow 4.8 per cent to 5 per cent in the fiscal year that ended on March 31.

"The green shoots of a rebound that were observable at the end of 2019 have been overtaken by the negative impacts of the global crisis," the World Bank report said.

Other than India, the World Bank forecast that Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bhutan and Bangladesh will also see sharp falls in economic growth.

Three other countries - Pakistan, Afghanistan and the Maldives - are expected to fall into recession, the World Bank said in the report, which was based on country-level data available as of April 7.

Measures taken to counter the coronavirus have disrupted supply chains across South Asia, which has recorded more than 13,000 cases so far - still lower than many parts of the world.

India's lockdown of 1.3 billion people has also left millions out of work, disrupted big and small businesses and forced an exodus of migrant workers from the cities to their homes in villages.

In the event of prolonged and broad national lockdowns, the report warned of a worst-case scenario in which the entire region would experience an economic contraction this year.

To minimize short-term economic pain, the Bank called for countries in the region to announce more fiscal and monetary steps to support unemployed migrant workers, as well as debt relief for businesses and individuals.

India has so far unveiled a $23 billion economic plan to offer direct cash transfers to millions of poor people hit by its lockdown. In neighbouring Pakistan, the government has announced a $6 billion plan to support the economy.

"The priority for all South Asian governments is to contain the virus spread and protect their people, especially the poorest who face considerable worse health and economic outcomes," said senior World Bank official Hartwig Schafer.

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News Network
May 26,2020

Warangal, May 26: A 26-year-old man from Bihar was arrested here for murdering nine people by throwing them into a well to cover the murder of a woman, police said on Monday.

Dr Ravinder, Commissioner of Police (CP), Warangal, said that the bodies were recovered on May 21 and May 22 from the well. Investigation has revealed that the accused, Sanjay Kumar Yadav, killed all of them to cover up the murder of Rafiqa, with whom he had a relationship.

He said that Yadav got acquainted with a person named Maqsood and his sister-in-law Rafiqa. "Slowly, he came close to Rafiqa and started living together with her three children. Yadav tried to misbehave with Rafiqa's 15-year-old daughter. Rafiqa did not like this and threatened to lodge a complaint against him," Ravinder said.

"Then, Yadav planned to kill Rafiqa in order to live with her daughter. Yadav promised Rafiqa to marry. They boarded a train to West Bengal from March 7. Yadav mixed sleeping tablets in the food packet and later strangulated her, and threw her body outside the train," he said.

According to police, Yadav later came back to Warangal but Maqsood's wife Nisha started questioning him about the whereabouts of Rafiqa.

"Nisha threatened to lodge a police complaint against him. With a premeditated motive, from May 16 to May 20, he visited Maqsood's family who stayed in a gunny bag factory," he said.

Yadav purchased sleeping pills from Warangal and mixed in the food on the birthday of Maqsood's elder son on May 20, police said.

"Maqsood and his five family members were living there. Yadav mixed sleeping pills in the food and later they consumed it. Maqsood's family friend Shakeel was also there. Then, he went to the first floor of the factory where two labourers were staying. He mixed sleeping pills in their food too. He suspected that they may get up and create a problem. To cover up the murder of Rafiqa, he killed nine people," Ravinder said.

At around 12:30 am, Yadav woke up and saw that everyone is asleep, according to police.

"Then, he used the gunny bags to drag all the nine people into the well. He threw the gunny bag one by one into the well," Ravinder said.

According to the police, six teams were deployed to investigate the case.

"Yadav has been arrested now and will be taken to police custody. We will collect all evidence and ensure that he gets maximum punishment for this offence," Ravinder said.

 

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abdullah
 - 
Thursday, 4 Jun 2020

Yadav will be released by court saying that he is mentally sick and he did not kill 10 people intentionally.  

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