Growing up Afghanistan: ‘My parents were told to swap me for a boy’

Agencies
December 1, 2018

Kabul, Dec 1: When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in the village.

Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.

Nargis now campaigns for women's education and empowerment in her home country, and is one of the BBC's 2018 100 Women, according to a BBC News report.

"In 1997, I opened my eyes to the world as my parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl," said Nargis.

"My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife. Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new chance to have a male child."

When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy. They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me.

Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.

"People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel inferior for not having a son. Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father. But he had a completely different mentality. He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can.

"It was not an easy time for my father. He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies.

"So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us.

But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word. Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character.

"Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district. In 1998, my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there.

"Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory. Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister.

"In 2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled. We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles. My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.

"I went on to study public policy and administration at Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year. Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me.

"A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister. There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media. People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men. Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans.

"When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear. You have done the right thing. I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots. Life is short. Enjoy it as much as you can."

"My father died of cancer earlier this year. In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.

"Three years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni. I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties because of the security situation. My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.

"In the end I was unable to travel to my native village because it was simply too dangerous. One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.

"In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment.

I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job.

"I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day. When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.

"I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.

"In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice.

"It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.

"Family is also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family.

"They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life. If they resist then I will try and change their minds. I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise.

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coastaldigest.com news network
April 17,2020

The unexpected lockdown to prevent spread of covid–19 has caused a serious damage to the lives of Indian expatriates irrespective of laborers and entrepreneurs in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Different stories of expatriates' ordeals are emerging from the region. 

Abdul Razaq, hailing from Udupi in Karnataka has been running small scale business at Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, based on oil refinery projects of the government. He was undergoing medical treatment for his cancer which is in fist stage. He explaines his ordeals caused by lockdown and stopping the flight facility. 

“I was regularly visiting home country for the treatment of cancer. Now I cannot go as international flight service has been stopped. I expect that government will hear problems of expatriates and will arrange facilities to take us back to home”, he said.

Mubeen from Bengaluru was working on temporary basis  for a company in Jubail. He had lost his jobs like some of his colleagues due to the lockdown.

“As everything was alright, I had brought my parents recently to Saudi Arabia on a visit visa. Things changed drastically with covid-19 attack. Continuous lockdown caused burden over the company and they removed temporary employees like me to control possible losses” he said.

“Now owner of the flat has been harassing me for the rent. I do not have money either to pay rent or to cover daily family expenses. I do not know what to do further”, he added. 

Iqbal from Mangaluru left for Saudi Arabia to help his family. He got a job in a juce centre in Dammam recently. Corona lockdown made his life difficult. He is eager to return his home country. 

“I came to Saudi Arbia because of financial difficulties as I had not found any job with good salary there. I thought I can earn well by going to Saudi Arabia. However, here too the salary was not so good. Now juice center is closed due to lockdown and sponsor is giving very small amount of money as salary through which we cannot afford our expenses and our families back in home,” he said.

“Here It is not easy get help of fellow Indians since most of them have their own ordeals. I would like to return home country; there however we can manage to get help of friends and relatives. I am looking forward the help of Indian government to start air facility for stranded NRIs,” he said. 

Mohsin from Mysuru is a taxi driver in Dammam, Saudi Arabia. He was earning on commission basis. Now Saudi government banned movement of taxis in the region, which pushed him and his fellow taxi drivers into trouble.

“We were earning commissions daily on the basis of trips. Now we cannot move outside with taxi since it may cause us to pay the fine of SR.10000. How can I manage my expenses and family members in home?”, he asked.

There are cases of pregnant women who have to return India for delivery. Those who brought family here on visit visa will not have insurance. Delivery charges and any kind of medical facilities without insurance in Saudi Arabia is very expensive. Expatriate Indians with such problems are awaiting government's help.

“I had brought my wife on one year visit visa. Now she is pregnant and I have to send her back to home for delivery. If lockdown continues, it is difficult to send back and we have to spend big amounts for delivery without insurance. It is a big burden to me as I work for small salary in a company”, said Yunus from Hyderabad, who is living in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.

Lockdown is haunting even entrepreneurs in Saudi Arabia. Most of expatriates in the industrial hub of Jubail are doing business based on Saudi Government’s oil refinery projects. Saudi Arabia temporarily stopped most of the projects as part of public health safety measures to maintain social distance. 

“We are doing business based on oil refinery projects. Now projects are stopped. We brought around 1100 people on work permit visa on temporary basis. And also, we have around 1200 permanent workers. It is a big burden to provide them with food, accommodation and salary. It may cause a big loss for our company”, said owner of expatriates company, Sheikh Mohammed.

Saudi Arabia had reported first corona virus affected case in March 2, 2020. At the end of March, it was 1600 and now it already corssed 6000. Saudi Health ministry has cautioned the number of affected people may rise 10000 to 200,000 and directed for more precautionary measures. In such case, the Indian expatriates may have to face crisis in the region. 

Indian expatriate organizations are demanding for immediate intervention of Indian government to ensure better quarantine facility and treatment of NRIs in Saudi Arabia as the cases are increasing rapidly. The condition of laborers in some of the camps are such that seven to eight people should share a single bed room. 

“Normally if there is a flat, it will consist three to four bed rooms. In single bedroom companies will provide three four bunk beds and six to eight people should share the room. In such cases, if a person affected with virus it will spread quickly to others. Thus, Indian government should ensure quarantine facility for NRIs”, says Wasim Rabbani, president of Indian Social Forum, Eastern Region, Saudi Arabia. 

President of Karnataka Non Residential Indians, A forum for the NRI organizations of Karnataka, Zakaria Muzain says Indian Government should immediately interfere to bring back those stranded NRIs who wish to return home. Government should intervene to pressure Indian embassy to take the issues of troubled expatriates. 

“Government should make special flight arrangement for such NRIs in trouble. It should also arrange quarantine facility for those who return to India. Already there are many Non-Governmental charity organization which have come forward to give their facilities for NRIs”, he said. 

NRIs from all categories are looking forward for the help of Indian government. It is important to Indian government to take quick action as the problem is increasing in Saudi Arabia.

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Althaf
 - 
Monday, 20 Apr 2020

Help from modi government is a nightmare 

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News Network
February 6,2020

Beijing, Feb 6: The number of confirmed fatalities from China's coronavirus outbreak rose to at least 560, after authorities in hardest-hit Hubei province reported 70 new deaths on February 6.

In its daily update, the health commission in Hubei also confirmed the number of confirmed infections in the outbreak has reached 28,018 nationwide with 3,694 new cases reported.

The epidemic, which has spiralled into a global health emergency, is believed to have emerged in December from a market that sold wild game in Hubei's capital Wuhan.

Hu Lishan, an official in Wuhan, warned Wednesday that despite building a hospital from scratch and converting public buildings to accommodate thousands of extra patients, there was still a "severe" lack of beds in the region.

There was also a shortage of "equipment and materials," he told reporters, adding that officials were looking to convert other hotels and schools in the city into treatment centres.

Authorities in several other cities in China have placed restrictions on the number of people allowed to leave their homes.

Global concerns have also risen about the virus, with cases confirmed in more than 20 countries.

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News Network
May 15,2020

New Delhi, May 15: Microsoft founder Bill Gates on Friday thanked Prime Minister Narendra Modi for the interaction and stressed that combating the coronavirus pandemic requires global collaboration.

"Thank you for the conversation and partnership PM Narendra Modi. Combating the pandemic requires global collaboration. India's role is key as the world works to minimize social and economic impact, and pave the way to vaccine, testing, and treatment access for all," Bill Gates said.

Prime Minister Narendra Modi on Thursday interacted with philanthropist and Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and discussed the global response to Covid-19 and the importance of global coordination on scientific innovation to combat the pandemic.

The Prime Minister underlined the conscious approach that India has adopted in its fight against the health crisis - an approach based on ensuring public engagement through appropriate messaging, a PMO release said.

He explained how this people-centric bottom-up approach has helped win acceptability for physical distancing, respect for frontline workers, wearing of masks, maintaining proper hygiene, and respecting lockdown provisions.

They agreed that given India's willingness and capacity to contribute to global efforts, particularly for benefit of fellow developing countries, it was important for India to be included in the ongoing global discussions for coordinating responses to the pandemic.

The Prime Minister also suggested that the Gates Foundation could take the lead in analyzing the necessary changes in lifestyles, economic organisation, social behaviour, modes of disseminating education and healthcare, that would emerge in the post-Covid world, and the associated technological challenges that would need to be addressed.

He said that India would be happy to contribute to such an analytical exercise based on its own experiences.

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