Growing up Afghanistan: ‘My parents were told to swap me for a boy’

Agencies
December 1, 2018

Kabul, Dec 1: When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in the village.

Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.

Nargis now campaigns for women's education and empowerment in her home country, and is one of the BBC's 2018 100 Women, according to a BBC News report.

"In 1997, I opened my eyes to the world as my parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl," said Nargis.

"My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife. Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new chance to have a male child."

When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy. They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me.

Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.

"People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel inferior for not having a son. Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father. But he had a completely different mentality. He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can.

"It was not an easy time for my father. He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies.

"So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us.

But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word. Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character.

"Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district. In 1998, my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there.

"Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory. Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister.

"In 2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled. We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles. My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.

"I went on to study public policy and administration at Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year. Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me.

"A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister. There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media. People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men. Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans.

"When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear. You have done the right thing. I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots. Life is short. Enjoy it as much as you can."

"My father died of cancer earlier this year. In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.

"Three years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni. I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties because of the security situation. My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.

"In the end I was unable to travel to my native village because it was simply too dangerous. One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.

"In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment.

I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job.

"I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day. When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.

"I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.

"In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice.

"It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.

"Family is also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family.

"They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life. If they resist then I will try and change their minds. I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise.

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News Network
June 17,2020

Washington, Jun 17: The United States is closely monitoring the situation following a fierce clash between Indian and Chinese forces in eastern Ladakh and hopes that the differences will be resolved peacefully, officials said here.

Twenty Indian Army personnel including a colonel were killed in the clash with Chinese troops in the Galwan Valley in eastern Ladakh on Monday night, the biggest military confrontation in over five decades that has significantly escalated the already volatile border standoff in the region.

"We are closely monitoring the situation between Indian and Chinese forces along the Line of Actual Control," a State Department spokesperson said.

"We note the Indian military has announced that 20 soldiers have died, and we offer our condolences to their families," the official said.

Both India and China have expressed their desires to de-escalate and the US supports a peaceful resolution of the current situation, the spokesperson said.

"During their phone call on June 2, 2020, President Donald Trump and Prime Minister Narendra Modi had discussed the situation along the India-China border," the official added.

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News Network
April 28,2020

Washington, Apr 28: After nearly three weeks in an intensive care unit in Los Angeles, doctors treating 41-year-old Broadway actor Nick Cordero for COVID-19 were forced to amputate his right leg.

The flow of blood had been impeded by a blood clot: yet another dangerous complication of the disease that has been bubbling up in frontline reports from China, Europe and the United States.

To be sure, so-called "thrombotic events" occur for a variety of reasons among intensive care patients, but the rates among COVID-19 patients are far higher than would be otherwise expected.

"I have had 40-year-olds in my ICU who have clots in their fingers that look like they'll lose the finger, but there's no other reason to lose the finger than the virus," Shari Brosnahan, a critical care doctor at NYU Langone said.

One of these patients is suffering from a lack of blood flow to both feet and both hands, and she predicts an amputation may be necessary, or the blood vessels may get so damaged that an extremity could drop off by itself.

Blood clots aren't just dangerous for our limbs, but can make their way to the lungs, heart or brain, where they may cause lethal pulmonary embolisms, heart attacks, and strokes.

A recent paper from the Netherlands in the journal Thrombosis Research found that 31 percent of 184 patients suffered thrombotic complications, a figure that the researchers called "remarkably high" -- even if extreme consequences like amputation are rare.

Behnood Bikdeli, a doctor at New York-Presbyterian Hospital, assembled an international consortium of experts to study the issue. Their findings were published in the Journal of The American College of Cardiology.

The experts found the risks were so great that COVID-19 patients "may need to receive blood thinners, preventively, prophylactically," even before imaging tests are ordered, said Bikdeli.

What exactly is causing it? The reasons aren't fully understood, but he offered several possible explanations.

People with severe forms of COVID-19 often have underlying medical conditions like heart or lung disease -- which are themselves linked to higher rates of clotting.

Next, being in intensive care makes a person likelier to develop a clot because they are staying still for so long. That's why for example people are encouraged to stretch and move around on long haul flights.

It's also now clear the COVID-19 illness is associated with an abnormal immune reaction called "cytokine storm" -- and some research has indicated this too is linked to higher rates of clotting.

There could also be something about the virus itself that is causing coagulation, which has some precedent in other viral illnesses.

A paper in the journal The Lancet last week showed that the virus can infect the inner cell layer of organs and of blood vessels, called the endothelium. This, in theory, could interfere with the clotting process.

According to Brosnahan, while thinners like Heparin are effective in some patients, they don't work for all patients because the clots are at times too small.

"There are too many microclots," she said. "We're not sure exactly where they are."

Autopsies have in fact shown some people's lungs filled with hundreds of microclots.

The arrival of a new mystery however helps solve a slightly older one.

Cecilia Mirant-Borde, an intensive care doctor at a military veterans hospital in Manhattan, told AFP that lungs filled with microclots helped explain why ventilators work poorly for patients with low blood oxygen.

Earlier in the pandemic doctors were treating these patients according to protocols developed for acute respiratory distress syndrome, sometimes known as "wet lung."

But in some cases, "it's not because the lungs are occupied with water" -- rather, it's that the microclotting is blocking circulation and blood is leaving the lungs with less oxygen than it should.

It has just been a little under five months since the virus emerged in Wuhan, China, and researchers are learning more about its impact every day.

"While we react surprised, we shouldn't be as surprised as we were. Viruses tend to do weird things," said Brosnahan.

While the dizzying array of complications may seem daunting, "it's possible there'll be one or a couple of unifying mechanisms that describe how this damage happens," she said.

"It's possible it's all the same thing, and that there'll be the same solution."

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coastaldigest.com news network
May 5,2020

Newsroom, May 5: Following the union government's nod, preparations are afoot to bring back Indian nationals stranded abroad from May 7 onwards.

According to sources, in the first phase from May 7- 14, the government would allow more than 60 “non-scheduled, commercial” flights to operate from about 12 countries to India to bring back 15,000 citizens. At least half of those flights will be from the Gulf region, including UAE, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Kuwait and Oman, while the rest would bring passengers from the U.S., the U.K., Singapore, Malaysia, Philippines and Bangladesh.

The flights would be spread over 10 States identified as having the largest numbers to return, with Kerala, Tamil Nadu and Delhi (NCR) receiving the maximum number of flights.

A meeting held at the Ministry of Civil Aviation looked specifically at flights, mainly operated by Air India, while it awaits a final plan from countries where Indians need to be airlifted from. The first flights planned at present are from Abu Dhabi, Dubai, Riyadh and Doha, flying directly to Kozhikode and Kochi.

While the full estimate of Indians needing to return home could cross ten lakhs (a million), with more than two lakhs having registered to return from the UAE alone, officials said their return would be “prioritised and staggered”.

Flight plan for return of Indian nationals stranded abroad:

Comments

Anwar
 - 
Thursday, 7 May 2020

for Kyrgyzstan

 

https://indembbishkek.gov.in/pages.php?id=226

Anwar
 - 
Thursday, 7 May 2020

For malasia

 

https://hcikl.gov.in/indreg

Prathaban
 - 
Wednesday, 6 May 2020

How to apply malaysia pls give me a registration link

Anwar
 - 
Wednesday, 6 May 2020

For Singapore

https://www.hcisingapore.gov.in/indian_registration

Anwar
 - 
Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Please contact embassy or ministry

Saudi details are here:

 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc_yyVAYPD-VYH98RNOWZkDkGKVsf34qnu0oGoLdtts3RG7_Q/viewform
 

http://www.coastaldigest.com/news/indians-stuck-saudi-arabia-due-lockdown-ought-know-these-things-returning-home

Kotadiya vinit…
 - 
Wednesday, 6 May 2020

I am in singapore 

 

And now my study finished already so how to go back india

Shipra
 - 
Wednesday, 6 May 2020

Please share a link to how to Register 

Rishi kumar sonkar
 - 
Tuesday, 5 May 2020

We want to go back india we are in Kyrgyzstan

how to registe…
 - 
Tuesday, 5 May 2020

how to register ?please share link/details

 

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