Need to respect freedom of expression: Vidya on Gurmehar Kaur

Mumbai, Jun 16: In the wake of Sushant Singh Rajput's death, veteran actor Deepti Naval has opened up about her struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts in the early 90s.

Naval shared a poem that she wrote during her struggle with depression on her Facebook page after paying tributes to Rajput, who was found hanging in his Bandra apartment on Sunday at the age of 34.

According to a police official, Mumbai Police found out during the probe that the actor was under medication for depression

"Dark days these... So much has been happening - mind has come to a point of stillness... Or rather numbness. Today I feel like sharing a poem I wrote back in the years when I was fighting depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts - Yes, fighting... and like how," Naval wrote.

The 68-year-old actor made her debut with Shyam Benegal's 1978 "Junoon" and went on to feature in films like "Chashme Buddoor", "Ankahee", "Mirch Masala", Saath Saath among others in the 80s.

Naval's poem, titled "Black Wind", begins by describing how anxiety engulfs a person.

"Anxiety grips me with both hands, spiked claws dig deep into my soul I gasp for breath and stagger around sharp corners of my single bed.."

In the poem, Naval talks about fighting suicidal thoughts and depression, describing it as a "ghoulish lust" she won't succumb to.

"The telephone rings... no, it stops...God damn! Why don't anyone speak? A voice, Just a human voice In this shameless, pitiless Abyss of the night - gloom deepens into darkness, turns purple I feel dark inside."

The actor ends by writing that she will survive the night, its "deathly design" and fight.

"The world's a snake pit, so let it be! I dare the devil to get the better of me! Deepti Naval, Night of July 28, 1991."

In an interview with PTI last year, Naval had mentioned how acting assignments started to thin in the late 90s and as a "serious actor" it was "devastating" to be ignored.

New Delhi, Jun 19: After the recent sudden demise of Sushant Singh Rajput, actor Kangana Ranaut who went public slamming nepotism in the Hindi film industry, has now revealed that she faced similar struggles like that of Sushant.

In a new statement, the "Queen" actor alleged that she was asked to apologise to Hrithik Roshan's family in order to survive. Both Kangana and Hrithik had been in the public spotlight in the year 2016 over their alleged former relationship and legal battle.

The 'Queen' actor said: "Once Javed Akhtar had called me to his house and told me that Rakesh Roshan and his family are very big people. If you don't apologise to them, you will have nowhere to go. They will put you in jail, and eventually, the only path would be that of destruction...you will commit suicide. These were his words. Why did he think if I don't apologise to you will have nowhere to go. They will put you in jail, and eventually, the only path would be that of destruction...you will commit suicide. These were his words. Why did he think if I don't apologise to Hrithik Roshan, I would have to commit suicide? He shouted and yelled at me. I was shaking in his house,"

She further continued, "Were there people calling Sushant? Were there people putting such thoughts into his mind? I have no idea, but obviously, he was in a similar situation. In his interviews, he had said that nepotism cannot co-exist with talent because they don't allow the right talent to come up. I can relate to it, and hence I am raising questions. I want to know who played the catalyst in this situation?"

Kangana adds, "I know Sushant had a big fallout with Aditya Chopra also. When I refused Sultan, he had threatened he would never work with me. Ever since our industry ganged up on me. I remember so many times feeling really lonely and feeling what will happen to me..."

The 'Manikarnika' star also revealed that all this not only happened to her professionally but personally as well it hampered her relationships. "They are very insecure about things. Despite what they did to me, there was a guy who wanted to get married to me. But he distanced himself, they made sure he ran away. With no surety about my career, my love-life completely has gone awry, with six court-cases against me, they're still trying to put me in jail."

Kangana also talked about herself: "I'm a different person; I'm very expressive. I went out there, and I just vented it out. Sushant was not a person like that at all. He just bottled it up. Media too has played a considerable part in this--the kind of monster image that was given to him. Everybody who knew him closely agrees that he was a soft and emotional person. I think that after a point it really got to him. I can understand it because even I have been portrayed as a witch and as a stalker."

Sharing that the bullying and outbursts had a psychological impact on her life situations, Kangana says, "I remember initially when people used to come to my home, I felt so embarrassed to even offer them water. Forget having a relationship or going on a date post the disaster of a relationship I had. I can only imagine that even during Manikarnika what they did to me."

Talking about the 'Kai Po Che' star, she added, "But perhaps he was just not able to vent. In fact, all these constant jibes on these petty show that he should be killed and which rated him as the least efficient... his films have done more business than your Gully Boy. People like Salman Khan said who Sushant Singh Rajput? It was after M.S. Dhoni: The Untold Story, everybody knew who Sushant was. We need to stop these."