I feel secure as an actor in the film industry: Taapsee

Mumbai, Jun 16: In the wake of Sushant Singh Rajput's death, veteran actor Deepti Naval has opened up about her struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts in the early 90s.

Naval shared a poem that she wrote during her struggle with depression on her Facebook page after paying tributes to Rajput, who was found hanging in his Bandra apartment on Sunday at the age of 34.

According to a police official, Mumbai Police found out during the probe that the actor was under medication for depression

"Dark days these... So much has been happening - mind has come to a point of stillness... Or rather numbness. Today I feel like sharing a poem I wrote back in the years when I was fighting depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts - Yes, fighting... and like how," Naval wrote.

The 68-year-old actor made her debut with Shyam Benegal's 1978 "Junoon" and went on to feature in films like "Chashme Buddoor", "Ankahee", "Mirch Masala", Saath Saath among others in the 80s.

Naval's poem, titled "Black Wind", begins by describing how anxiety engulfs a person.

"Anxiety grips me with both hands, spiked claws dig deep into my soul I gasp for breath and stagger around sharp corners of my single bed.."

In the poem, Naval talks about fighting suicidal thoughts and depression, describing it as a "ghoulish lust" she won't succumb to.

"The telephone rings... no, it stops...God damn! Why don't anyone speak? A voice, Just a human voice In this shameless, pitiless Abyss of the night - gloom deepens into darkness, turns purple I feel dark inside."

The actor ends by writing that she will survive the night, its "deathly design" and fight.

"The world's a snake pit, so let it be! I dare the devil to get the better of me! Deepti Naval, Night of July 28, 1991."

In an interview with PTI last year, Naval had mentioned how acting assignments started to thin in the late 90s and as a "serious actor" it was "devastating" to be ignored.

Mumbai, Jun 16: Filmmaker Dibakar Banerjee remembers Sushant Singh Rajput as a dance loving 'chhokra' from an engineering college who, having made it in Bollywood, was “enthused, sincere and totally focused” on his craft.

Banerjeee said the actor always had “a book or two” with him and took pride in the fact that he had an “inner intellectual life away from the shallower aspects of showbiz”.

Rajput was found dead in his Bandra apartment on Sunday at the age of 34, leaving his friends, colleagues and collaborators in a state of shock.

The Patna-born actor and the director worked together in 2015 film "Detective Byomkesh Bakshy!" when Rajput was a relative newcomer in the industry. Banerjee says it was Rajput's vulnerability and willingness to do different that made him stand out for the role.

In an interview with news agency, the filmmaker looks back at Rajput's sincerity, his love for science and astronomy and how an outsider has to work harder than a "mediocre, unmotivated and entitled establishment elite" to succeed in Bollywood.

Excerpts:

You worked with Sushant when he was less than two-year-old in the film industry. What struck you the most in him to cast as Detective Byomkesh Bakshy?

Banerjee: His vulnerability and intensity and the ambition to do different things than the usual Bollywood stuff.

What were your memories of Sushant- the actor and the person?

Banerjee: As an actor he would tense himself up for the scene and then completely plunge in take after take. He would put a lot of value on preparation. He would be up the previous night of the shoot, reading the scene and making notes and land up on the sets all raring to go.

He would be on, ready and give his hundred per cent throughout the shoot of Byomkesh - no matter how hard or long the day. The unit did not really have to worry about him - considering he was the star. That's what I remember - a total pro, enthused, sincere and totally focused.

As a person, he seemed to me a happy dance loving 'chhokra' from an engineering college who had made it in showbiz and now was serious about acting. He was deeply nostalgic about his carefree student days in Delhi. We used to laugh a lot - I remember that quite clearly.

Sushant's friends say that he spoke more about books and his love for astronomy than films and their fate, which is rare for an actor in the industry. Do you also remember him that way?

Banerjee: Totally true. He was a science and astronomy nut. Always had a book or two with him - and was proud of the fact that he had an inner intellectual life away from the shallower aspects of showbiz. I recognized it as a reflex, protective action to prevent the Bollywood swamp sucking him in totally. And also an identity he wanted to protect and project.

Sushant's death has brought to the fore the struggles of outsiders and the alienation they often face from the nepotistic culture of the industry. Did you feel that Sushant was also fighting this battle despite being a successful actor?

Banerjee: We all fight it, day in and out - whether successful or failing. But the trick is to define that success and failure ourselves and not let the narrative constantly forced by the establishment to get to you. Those who know this weather the storm and ultimately survive and thrive.

The biggest unfairness in all this is that it takes double the talent, energy and hard work for an outsider to convince the audience and the industry that he or she is as safe a box office bet as a mediocre, unmotivated and entitled establishment elite.

The media colludes in this by wallowing in family, coterie and celebrity worship. This leads to deep anger and frustration. Those who can let this slide survive. Those who can't - those who hurt a little more or are vulnerable and impressionable - they are at risk.

Mumbai, Jan 7: Actor Anil Kapoor, who next will be seen onscreen in Malang, revealed that he always tells superstar Aamir Khan not to stop working with filmmaker Rajkumar Hirani.

Kapoor was interacting with the media at the trailer launch of Malang along with his co-actors Adtiya Roy Kapur, Disha Patani, Elli AvRam, film's director Mohit Suri and producers Luv Ranjan, Bhushan Kumar, Ankur Garg and Jay Shewakraman on Monday in Mumbai.

Anil Kapoor has worked with many directors and producers in his 40-year acting career.

Talking about camp culture in the Hindi film industry and praising makers of Malang, Kapoor said, "I feel we need producers like Ankur (Garg) and Luv (Ranjan). I have told Mohit (Suri) to continue doing films with them. I always tell Aamir Khan by calling him on the phone to say that you should not leave Raju Hirani (Rajkumar Hirani). Whenever I see films of both of them, I tell Aamir not to leave him."

He continued, "I feel whenever you make a good team then you should hold on to it. Team is very important and there are certain stars that come together to make something interesting and exciting."

Kapoor gave an example of Hollywood actors and filmmakers while backing his viewpoint.

"If you see Martin Scorsese, Robert De Niro, Leonardo DiCaprio they do so many films together. They can work with others, too, but they keep working with each other. There is some magic, obviously. You have to go with the casting but somewhere I feel teams should stand by each other," the actor added.

Malang stars Aditya Roy Kapur, Disha Patani, Anil Kapoor and Kunal Khemu in lead roles. It is scheduled to release on February 7.