Rediscover Prophet; clear misconceptions about Islam

[email protected] (MAJID HYDERI for DailyO)
January 10, 2016

In the 7th century AD, when dental hygiene was in its infancy, this man, while returning home, would ensure brushing his teeth with meswak, lest bad breath irk his family, particularly the wife and children.

hajj

Despite having thousands of followers at his beck and call, he helped in household work.

And, in an era when women were cursed, he found heaven in the many avatars of mother, daughter and wife. This was Muhammad, the prophet of Islam, blessed with qualities an ideal family man should possess, to consolidate family, as the building block of a healthy society.

Now 1,400 years on, however, Islam is a misunderstood religion as Muslims and terrorists are often considered synonymous, making victims of hate keep the popular plea ready for defence: My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist!

Leave apart the globally-dreaded faces of terror like Abu Bakr Albaghdadi, who recently claimed to be global caliph, the image of a typical head of a Muslim family is often no less scary. These ugly faces of humanity are often attributed to Islam and its prophet.

Some accusations are downright chilling, blasphemous. A basic cause of unwanted Islamophobia is that the negatives of someone bearing a Muslim name get generalised for the entire community, without ascertaining the Prophet's preaching.

Islamic lifestyle is essentially driven by three entities, the first being Quran, which Muslims believe is the word of Allah. The other two are recorded prophetic sayings, the Hadith, and Muhammad's iconic lifestyle: Sunnah. The combination of these reflect Muhammad as the perfect man in all spheres of life, including family, which is central to Islamic society.

Also read: What Indian Muslims can learn from fatwa on AR Rahman

The ladies first: Muhammad lost his mother, Aaminah, at the age of five. His first encounter with a woman was his own wife, Khadijah. At the time of marriage, he was 25 and she a 40-year-old widow.

During her life, they lived in a society that welcomed multiple marriages for men. For 25 years, though, he did not opt for another marriage, a lesson for some of his followers who immediately after the first marriage start preparations for another.

After her death, however, Muhammad married nine women. Islamic beliefs give four main reasons for these multiple marriages: first, helping widows of his companions. Second, to create family ties between him and his illustrious companions (Muhammad married the daughters of Abu Bakr and Umar, whereas Uthman and Imam Ali married his daughters. He, therefore, had family bonds with all four of the first caliphs).

The third reason was to spread the message by uniting different clans or tribes through marriage. Another major reason was to increase credibility for his family values because confirmation from multiple sources is more credible.

From teaching how to eat, sleep or respond to nature's call, Muhammad shared with his followers the minutest details even pertaining to life in the bedroom, only to keep them guided.

As husband, his love for wife Aisha was romantic, more than many love stories that have been famous throughout history. Though most such stories are fables, Muhammad's love was real and human, not angelic.

As per recorded traditions, he once said to Aisha: "I know well when you are pleased or angry with me." Aisha replied: "How do you know that?" He said, "When you are pleased with me you swear by saying 'by the God of Muhammad' but when you are angry you swear by saying 'by the God of Ibrahim'.

She said: "You are right, I don't mention your name."

Hadith also reports that Muhammad used to search for the part that touched her lips from the utensil she used in drinking. Then, he would touch the same part with his lips when he would drink. To express love, he called her by different names, such as "Aish" and "Uaish". He would recline his head in her lap.

In a male-dominated society, where Muslim husbands often find household work demeaning, Aisha reported that Muhammad used to mend his shoes, sew his clothes and work at home.

With the exception of Aisha, he married only widows and divorced women, and he shared equal time and resources with all of them. Once, another wife, Safiyah, was on a journey with him. She was late, so he received her while she was crying. Muhammad wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down.

His affection for children was equally amazing. As soon as Fatimah, his daughter, entered the room, he would stand up, hold her hands, and make her sit where he was sitting. He would ask about her health and family, express his paternal love for her.

In a society that degraded women and rejected the birth of females to the extent that they would be buried alive, Muhammad made paradise the reward of every father who conducted himself well with his daughters and was patient in their upbringing.

As children, his grandsons, Imam Hussain and Imam Hassan, would often ride on his back. Muhammad's love was such that he would not lift his head from the ground till they would themselves not get down.

About parents, Muhammad said paradise lay beneath the mother's feet whereas in Allah's will is the father's will, and in Allah's anger is the father's anger. This again is in contrast to how Muslims often abandon aged parents, to be jihadi or "caliph" of a nuclear family, when the former need them the most.

Islam is not what Muslims do but what Muhammad wanted them to do. He was neither God nor angel, but a man of mercy, as Quran reveals in Chapter 21 verse 107: We have not sent you but as Mercy unto the mankind.

Comments

Sherin
 - 
Monday, 18 Jan 2016

May peace be upon him
Naren kotian- if u wanna make muslim youths to get angry through ua comments, sorry u r utterly wrong my dear!! May allah bless u in right path ameen

naren kotian
 - 
Wednesday, 13 Jan 2016

I read nearly 2-3 times in english ... it is exactly like what ISIS is saying ... it says kill jews , attack non muslims ... keep non muslim women as slaves .. its full halal... non muslims must clearly pay jaziya ... so there is no mis conception ... it is very much clear ... no rights for women , treat women as property ... no 72 virgins for females hahaha ... what this mama ...

Farzana Ubaid
 - 
Tuesday, 12 Jan 2016

May peace be upon him :)

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Agencies
June 10,2020

US dictionary Merriam-Webster will update the meaning of the word "racism" after being contacted by a Missouri black woman, who claimed the current definition fell short of including the systematic oppression of people of colour, according to media reports.

"A revision to the entry for racism is now being drafted to be added to the dictionary soon, and we are also planning to revise the entries of other words that are related to racism or have racial connotations," according to a statement of the 189-year-old dictionary shared by Kennedy Mitchum, a recent graduate of Drake University in Iowa, on her Facebook.

Mitchum, 22, emailed the dictionary last month, following the death of African American George Floyd in the custody of four Minneapolis police officers, Xinhua news agency reported.

"I kept having to tell them that definition is not representative of what is actually happening in the world," Mitchum told CNN. "The way that racism occurs in real life is not just prejudice, it's the systemic racism that is happening for a lot of black Americans."

Merriam-Webster's first definition of racism is "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial differences produce an inherent superiority of a particular race."

"It's not just disliking someone because of their race," Mitchum wrote in a Facebook post on Friday. "This current fight we are in is evidence of that, lives are at stake because of the systems of oppression that go hand-in-hand with racism."

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Agencies
June 17,2020

In a bid to help tackle rise in domestic violence during the social distancing times in India, Twitter on Wednesday launched a dedicated search prompt to serve information and updates from authoritative sources around domestic violence.

Twitter has partnered with the Ministry of Women and Child Development the National Commission for Women in India to expand its efforts towards women.

The search prompt will be available on iOS, Android and on mobile.twitter.com in India, in both English and Hindi languages, the company said in a statement.

Data shows that since the outbreak of Covid-19, violence against women and girls has intensified in India and across the globe.

"We recognise collaboration with the public, government and NGOs is key to combating the complex issue of domestic violence. Accessing reliable information through this search prompt could be a survivor's first step towards seeking help against abuse and violence," said Mahima Kaul, Director, Public Policy, India and South Asia, Twitter.

Every time someone searches for certain keywords associated with the issue of domestic violence, a prompt will direct them to the relevant information and sources of help available on Twitter.

This is an expansion of Twitter's #ThereIsHelp prompt, which was specifically put in place for the public to find clear, credible information on critical issues.

The feature will be reviewed at regular intervals by the Twitter team to ensure that all related keywords generate the proactive search prompt, said the company.

Violence against women and girls across Asia Pacific is pervasive but at the same time widely under reported.

"In fact, in many countries in our region, the number is even greater, with as many as 2 out of 3 women in some countries reporting experiences of violence," added Melissa Alvarado, UN Women Asia Pacific Regional Manager on Ending Violence against Women.

Rekha Sharma, Chairperson, the NCW, said: "With social distancing norms in place, several women are unable to contact their regular support systems. This initiative by Twitter will provide big support to the survivors, who would otherwise be easily isolated without access to relevant information and help".

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Agencies
May 17,2020

As millions of people get hooked to online dating platforms, their proliferation has led to online romance scams becoming a modern form of fraud that have spread in several societies along with the development of social media like Facebook Dating, warn researchers.

For example, extra-marital dating app Gleeden has crossed 10 lakh users in India in COVID-19 times while dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have gained immense popularity.

According to researchers from University of Siena and Scotte University Hospital led by Dr Andrea Pozza, via a fictitious Internet profile, the scammer develops a romantic relationship with the victim for 6-8 months, building a deep emotional bond to extort economic resources in a manipulative dynamic.

"There are two notable features: on the one hand, the double trauma of losing money and a relationship, on the other, the victim's shame upon discovery of the scam, an aspect that might lead to underestimation of the number of cases," the authors wrote in a paper published in the journal Clinical Practice & Epidemiology in Mental Health.

Around 1,400 dating sites/chats have been created over the last decade in North America alone. In the UK, 23 per cent of Internet users have met someone online with whom they had a romantic relationship for a certain period and even 6 per cent of married couples met through the web.

"The online dating industry has given rise to new forms of pathologies and crime, said the authors.

The results showed that 63 per cent of social media users and 3 per cent of the general population reported having been a victim at least once.

Women, middle-aged people, and individuals with higher tendencies to anxiety, romantic idealization of affective relations, impulsiveness and susceptibility to relational addiction are at higher risk of being victims of the scam.

Online romance scams are, in other words, relationships constructed through websites for the purpose of deceiving unsuspecting victims in order to extort money from them.

The scammer always acts empathetically and attempts to create the impression in the victim that the two are perfectly synced in their shared view of life.

"The declarations of the scammer become increasingly affectionate and according to some authors, a declaration of love is made within two weeks from initial contact," the study elaborated.

After this hookup phase, the scammer starts talking about the possibility of actually meeting up, which will be postponed several times due to apparently urgent problems or desperate situations such as accidents, deaths, surgeries or sudden hospitalizations for which the unwitting victim will be manipulated into sending money to cover the momentary emergency.

Using the strategy of "testing-the-water", the scammer asks the victim for small gifts, usually to ensure the continuance of the relationship, such as a webcam, which, if successful, leads to increasingly expensive gifts up to large sums of money.

When the money arrives from the victim, the scammer proposes a new encounter.

The request for money can also be made to cover the travel costs involved in the illusory meeting. In this phase, the victim may start having second thoughts or showing doubt about the intentions of the partner and gradually decide to break off the relationship.

"In other cases, the fraudulent relationship continues or even reinforces itself as the victim, under the influence of ambivalent emotions of ardor and fear of abandonment and deception, denies or rationalizes doubts to manage their feelings," said the study.

In some cases, the scammer may ask the victim to send intimate body photos that will be used as a sort of implicit blackmail to further bind the victim to the scammer.

Once the scam is discovered, the emotional reaction of the victim may go through various phases: feelings of shock, anger or shame, the perception of having been emotionally violated (a kind of emotional rape), loss of trust in people, a sensation of disgust towards oneself or the perpetrator of the crime and a feeling of mourning.

"Understanding the psychological characteristics of victims and scammers will allow at-risk personality profiles to be identified and prevention strategies to be developed," the authors suggested.

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