A sword is hanging on my head, says Salman Khan on cases against him

Mumbai, Jun 16: In the wake of Sushant Singh Rajput's death, veteran actor Deepti Naval has opened up about her struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts in the early 90s.

Naval shared a poem that she wrote during her struggle with depression on her Facebook page after paying tributes to Rajput, who was found hanging in his Bandra apartment on Sunday at the age of 34.

According to a police official, Mumbai Police found out during the probe that the actor was under medication for depression

"Dark days these... So much has been happening - mind has come to a point of stillness... Or rather numbness. Today I feel like sharing a poem I wrote back in the years when I was fighting depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts - Yes, fighting... and like how," Naval wrote.

The 68-year-old actor made her debut with Shyam Benegal's 1978 "Junoon" and went on to feature in films like "Chashme Buddoor", "Ankahee", "Mirch Masala", Saath Saath among others in the 80s.

Naval's poem, titled "Black Wind", begins by describing how anxiety engulfs a person.

"Anxiety grips me with both hands, spiked claws dig deep into my soul I gasp for breath and stagger around sharp corners of my single bed.."

In the poem, Naval talks about fighting suicidal thoughts and depression, describing it as a "ghoulish lust" she won't succumb to.

"The telephone rings... no, it stops...God damn! Why don't anyone speak? A voice, Just a human voice In this shameless, pitiless Abyss of the night - gloom deepens into darkness, turns purple I feel dark inside."

The actor ends by writing that she will survive the night, its "deathly design" and fight.

"The world's a snake pit, so let it be! I dare the devil to get the better of me! Deepti Naval, Night of July 28, 1991."

In an interview with PTI last year, Naval had mentioned how acting assignments started to thin in the late 90s and as a "serious actor" it was "devastating" to be ignored.

Jaipur, Jan 24: Actor Sonali Bendre has said that she came into the movies to make money but fell in love with the profession where she discovered herself and found her family and friends. The 45-year-old actor said she owed a lot to Bollywood which is the most wonderful place to be, both mentally as well as creatively.

"I came into movies to make money and I fell in love with the profession. It was the most wonderful place to be, mentally and creatively," she said.

"I found myself there, found my friends and family over there. I owe a lot to Bollywood. It was one of the most wonderful things that happened to me," Sonali said here on Thursday.

The actor said her entry into movies by purely because she happened to be at the right place and at the right time.

Sonali added when acting offers came her way she knew that in no other field could she have made as much money, and as quickly, as she did in movies.

"Basically, I got into this because it was great money," she said.

The actor was speaking at the Jaipur Literature Festival and also talked about books and how her book club named ‘Sonali's Book Club' came into being.

Sonali, who has been convalescing after undergoing treatment for cancer in the US, said that books gave her strength and kept her afloat while she was going through one of the toughest phases of her life.

The actor was diagnosed with high grade cancer in July 2018 and underwent treatment for it in New York.

"Books were my friends other than my sisters while I was growing up. I'm nowhere remotely connected to movies. I have a very middle class Maharashtrian upbringing. When I got into movies, it was like being on another planet. Again in this world where it was easy to feel the peer pressure and do certain things or not do certain things, or look a certain way, books kept me grounded," she said.

"'A Gentleman in Moscow' (a 2016 novel by Amor Towles) was uplifting and I got so much strength from that book during my treatment in New York," Sonali said.

The actor, who often shares posts about books and authors on social media, said one should stop feeling guilty about not completing a book.

"Sometimes you start judging yourself by not completing a book, but I have reached a stage where I understand that I'm a book-lover, but that doesn't mean I will like all the books. It's okay if you don't like a book," she said.

Sonali also said that nobody wanted to know about the intellectual capacity of Bollywood stars as it was not "entertainment enough or gossipy enough".

Earlier before her session, Sonali launched author Ashwin Sanghi's latest book ‘The Vault of Vishnu', the sixth book in the Bharat series, at the 13th edition of the festival.

A gang has been spreading rumours about me in the Hindi film industry that is preventing him from getting work, says Academy award-winning music director A R Rahman.

Collaborations between him and the Hindi film industry have reduced as a result, he adds

The maestro had composed music for Sushant Singh Rajput's Dil Bechara said that the reason he is not doing a lot of work is that a gang has been spreading rumours about him which resulted in him getting fewer projects.

Rahman's comments come amidst a raging insider versus outsider debate in Bollywood following actor Sushant Singh Rajput's untimely demise last month.

During an interview with Radio Mirchi, the Oscar-winning music director was asked the reason for doing less Hindi films.

Rahman said there has been "misunderstanding" between him and filmmakers as some people have been spreading "false rumours" about him in the industry.

"See, I don’t say no to good movies, but I think there is a gang, which, due to misunderstandings, is spreading some false rumours. So when Mukesh Chhabra came to me, I gave him four songs in two days. He said, 'Sir, how many people said don’t go, don’t go (to him). They told me stories after stories'," he said.

"I heard that, and I said, 'yeah okay, now I understand why I am doing less (work) and why the good movies are not coming to me.' I am doing dark movies, because there is a whole gang working against me, without them knowing that they are doing harm," the composer added.

Rahman has composed the music for Rajput's last movie "Dil Bechara", which premiered on Disney+ Hotstar on Friday. The film, directed by Mukesh Chhabra, also features Sanjana Sanghi and Saif Ali Khan.

The composer further said that he is aware of people's expectations from him but the "gang" is getting in his way.

"People are expecting me to do stuff, but there is another gang of people preventing that from happening. It is fine because I believe in destiny. I believe that everything comes from God.

"So, I am taking my own movies and doing my other stuff. But all of you are welcome to come to me. You make beautiful movies, and you are welcome to come to me," Rahman added.

Dubbed ‘Mozart of Madras’, A R Rahman has composed soundtracks for movies like Swades, Dil Se, Guru, Rockstar and more recently Sushant Singh Rajput’s Dil Bechara. 

The composer won two Academy Awards in 2009 for his songs in the popular Hollywood movie, Slumdog Millionaire. The composer also received a Golden Globes Award for his work in this movie.