Growing up Afghanistan: ‘My parents were told to swap me for a boy’

Agencies
December 1, 2018

Kabul, Dec 1: When Nargis Taraki became the fifth girl born to her parents in Afghanistan, her parents were told they should swap her with another baby in the village.

Now 21, she has made it her life ambition to prove they were right to keep her.

Nargis now campaigns for women's education and empowerment in her home country, and is one of the BBC's 2018 100 Women, according to a BBC News report.

"In 1997, I opened my eyes to the world as my parents' fifth child, and their fifth girl," said Nargis.

"My father's sister, and other relatives, immediately put pressure on my mum to agree to my father taking a second wife. Taking a second or even third wife is not uncommon in Afghanistan, and is sometimes done because they believe a new wife could mean a new chance to have a male child."

When she refused, they suggested that my father swap me for a boy. They even found a family in the village who was willing to give their boy away and take me.

Swapping children is not something that is part of our culture, and I haven't heard of it happening before, but boys are more valued in Afghan society as the traditional family breadwinners.

"People deliberately said things to upset my mother and make her feel inferior for not having a son. Despite her refusal to part ways with me, some elders still kept approaching my father. But he had a completely different mentality. He told them he loved me, and he would one day prove to them that a daughter can achieve everything a son can.

"It was not an easy time for my father. He had a military background and a history of service in the previous Soviet-backed regime, and my native district at the time was controlled by people with religious or fundamentalist tendencies.

"So certain people in the village used to detest him and did not socialise with us.

But my father believed in what he said, and he always stood by his word. Although there was pressure on my parents to swap me because I was a girl, it was a man who had the most positive impact on my character.

"Things got worse for us after Taliban militants took control of our district. In 1998, my father had to flee to Pakistan and soon after that we joined him there.

"Life there was not easy - but he managed to get work as a manager in a shoe factory. Perhaps the best thing to happen to my parents whilst in Pakistan was that they finally had a son, followed by my fifth sister.

"In 2001, we all returned to Kabul after the Taliban regime was toppled. We didn't have a house of our own and had to live with my uncles. My sisters and I managed to keep going to school despite conservatism in our culture.

"I went on to study public policy and administration at Kabul University and graduated two years ago with the highest marks for that year. Throughout that time my father never stopped supporting me.

"A couple of years ago I went to watch a cricket game in Kabul with my sister. There weren't many women in the stadium and our photographs and videos were circulated on social media. People started criticising us and leaving negative comments, saying we were shameless to be in a stadium amongst men. Others said we were trying to spread adultery and were being paid by the Americans.

"When my father saw some of the comments on Facebook, he looked at me and said: "My dear. You have done the right thing. I am glad you have annoyed some of these idiots. Life is short. Enjoy it as much as you can."

"My father died of cancer earlier this year. In him, I lost someone whose constant support made me into the person that I am today, and I know he will always be with me.

"Three years ago I tried to open a school for girls in my native village in Ghazni. I talked to my father about it and he said it would be almost impossible because of cultural boundaries, and even boys have difficulties because of the security situation. My father thought giving it a name of a religious madrassa might have improved our chances.

"In the end I was unable to travel to my native village because it was simply too dangerous. One of my sisters and I still hope to achieve this goal one day.

"In the meantime, I volunteered for several years for NGOs in that part of the world, working for women's education, health and empowerment.

I've also presented talks on a girl's right to go to school, university and to get a job.

"I've always dreamed of studying at the University of Oxford one day. When I look at international university rankings I always find Oxford in first or second position, and when I compare that with Kabul University I feel a bit sad - although that's not to say I'm not thankful I was able to go.

"I love to read in my spare time - an average of two to three books a week - and Paolo Coelho is my favourite author.

"In terms of marriage, I would like to choose someone myself and my family have given me permission to marry someone of my own choice.

"It would be great if I can find someone who has the same qualities as my father. I would want to spend the rest of my life with someone who has a similar attitude - who can support me and stand by my choices.

"Family is also important - sometimes you marry the best man out there but then you cannot adapt to his family.

"They will have to support me in what I want to do in my life. If they resist then I will try and change their minds. I believe in what I want to achieve in life and will not compromise.

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News Network
January 27,2020

Jaipur, Jan 27: Senior Congress leader Shashi Tharoor said that if the Citizenship Amendment Act leads to the implementation of the NPR and the NRC, it would be a complete victory for Pakistan's founding father, Muhammad Ali Jinnah.

He said that Jinnah's idea of a country was already winning in India with the contentious Citizenship Amendment Act (CAA) coming into effect, but asserted that there was still a choice available.

"I would not say Jinnah has completely won, but I would say Jinnah is winning. There is still a choice available to the nation between Jinnah's idea of a country and Gandhiji's idea of a country," he said on the sidelines of the Jaipur Literature Festival on Sunday.

The CAA came into force in India in December amid protests across the country and around the world.

The MP from Thiruvananthapuram said that the amended Citizenship Act took Jinnah's logic by declaring that religion shall be the basis of nationhood, reaffirming that Gandhi's idea is that all religions are equal .

"The CAA is, if you are talking Tennis, you would say one set up or big first set lead for Jinnah. But the next step would be if the CAA would lead to the National Population Register (NPR) and the National Register of Citizens (NRC). If that happens, then you would consider that Jinnah's victory is complete," he said.

The CAA seeks to grant citizenship to migrants belonging to Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, Christian, Jain and Parsi communities who came to India from Pakistan, Bangladesh and Afghanistan on or before December 31, 2014.

On the BJP's defence that the NPR was carried out during the UPA regime, Tharoor said that the Congress government had utilised a decision of the NDA government led by former prime minister Atal Bihari Vajpayee.

"It never asked where were your parents born. It never authorised the enumerators to note on the margin 'dubious citizenship', a term used in the NPR rules crafted by this government. That is purely BJP's invention," he said.

If we go around this country authorising people to interview all the citizens, or identify some who have 'dubious citizenship', you can be pretty sure which Indians are going to be found on the 'dubious citizenship', he said.

"That will principally be one community that is not mentioned in the CAA. And if that happens, then it is indeed Jinnah's victory.

"From wherever he is, he can point to this place and say, 'see I was right in the 1940. We are separate nations and Muslims deserved their own country because Hindus cannot be just'," Tharoor said.

Speaking about the Delhi election, the three-time MP said that the maximum development in the national capital happened under the Congress government.

"What Sheila Dikshit did in her 15 years as Chief Minister of Delhi, no other leader could do it before or after her," he said.

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News Network
May 27,2020

Mumbai, May 27: The Maharashtra government on Tuesday ordered re investigation by the CID into the suicide of a 53-year-old interior designer and his mother, allegedly over non-payment of dues by TV journalist Arnab Goswami and two others.

State Home Minister Anil Deshmukh said he ordered re investigation after Adnya Naik, daughter of interior designer Anvay Naik, claimed that Alibag Police in neighbouring Raigad district did not probe the non-payment of dues which had driven her father and grandmother to suicide.

"Adnya Naik had complained to me that #AlibaugPolice had not investigated non-payment of dues from #ArnabGoswami's @republic which drove her entrepreneur father & grandmom to suicide in May 2018," Deshmukh tweeted.

"I've ordered a CID re-investigation of the case," the minister, an NCP leader, added.

He also used the hashtag "Maharashtra government cares" while sharing the tweet. Earlier this month, the police registered an abetment of suicide case against Republic TV editor-in-chief Goswami and two others.

The suicide note purportedly written by Anvay Naik, managing director of Concorde Designs Private Limited, said he was forced to take his life as he was not paid dues of Rs 5.40 crore by the three accused.

Republic TV denied the allegation and said that certain vested interest groups were running "a false and malicious campaign and making false statements and innuendos against the company by exploiting the tragic event".

Mumbai Police are also conducting a probe against Goswami over his statements about the Palghar lynching case of April this year.

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News Network
January 28,2020

New Delhi, Jan 28: Stepping up attack on Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal, Union Home Minister Amit Shah on Monday dared the AAP chief to visit the anti-CAA protest site at Shaheen Bagh so that the people of Delhi can decide whom to vote for in the assembly election.

Addressing a rally in Rithala in northwest Delhi, Shah said Kejriwal and Congress leader Rahul Gandhi were against the construction of Ram temple, the scrapping of provisions of Article 370 and not bothered about the country's image and soldiers.

The opposition fears that they will upset their vote bank, he said and asked, "Are you their vote bank? Where is their vote bank?" To this, the crowd replied, "Shaheen Bagh".

The BJP leader claimed that the Delhi Police has booked Sharjeel Imam, a JNU student, on the charge of sedition for his comment of "trying to cut chicken's neck" and breaking the North East from the rest of the country.

"I want to ask Kejriwal whether he is in favour of apprehending Sharjeel Imam or not? Whether you are with the people of Shaheen Bagh or not, please tell the people of Delhi," Shah said.

Imam was one of the initial organisers of the Shaheen Bagh protest.

Hitting back at the BJP, Kejriwal alleged that the saffron party does not want to open the Shaheen Bagh stretch of the Kalindi Kunj road as it is doing "dirty politics" over it.

He said law and order in the national capital lies entirely with the Centre and "if they are saying that they need permission from me, I am giving them permission, open the road in one hour".

"I can give it to you in writing, the BJP does not want to open the route in Shaheen Bagh. The Shaheen Bagh route will remain closed till February 8 (election day) and it will open February 9," Kejriwal told reporters.

Calling Kejriwal a member of the 'tukde tukde' gang, a term used by the BJP to attack groups it accuses of working to promote violent leftists and separatism, Shah sought to return fire and said the protesters of Shaheen Bagh will not listen to his party.

"They will not listen to us. You people (AAP leaders) say that you are with Shaheen Bagh, if you have the guts then go and sit with them and let Delhi decide," Shah said.

At another election rally in Janakpuri, Shah accused Gandhi and Kejriwal of doing politics of "vote bank" on national issues and "supporting" the protest at Shaheen Bagh while instigating riots and vandalism.

"The Modi government will not spare anti-national elements," he warned.

Upon mentioning the recent Supreme Court judgment on Ayodhya, Shah was greeted with cheers and chants of 'Jai Shri Ram'.

The home minister further said that this was the first Republic Day in Jammu and Kashmir after the abrogation of Article 370 and the tricolour was unfurled there with enthusiasm and without any bloodshed.

The former BJP president also attacked the Kejriwal government for not fulfilling promises like regularising temporary employees, providing free wifi, opening new schools and colleges, constructing roads and cleaning the Yamuna.

"Kejriwal government is in power since five years but till today there is no clean drinking water in the city. There are no good schools or hospitals as claimed by him. When I visited a Delhi government school, I saw that it was operating from a building that was illegally built and falls in the list of those that to be erased," Shah said.

He claimed that Kejriwal came to power with the help of Anna Hazare's anti-corruption movement but "completely changed" later on.

"He had said that he would not take any government accommodation or vehicles and other facilities but after becoming chief minister he availed all these facilities," Shah said.

He also slammed the Delhi government for not sanctioning the prosecution of former JNU students' union leader Kanhaiya Kumar in a sedition case.

Shah said if the national capital comes under the leadership of Modi, it will become the best city in the world.

The BJP has a vision for development of Delhi and cleaning the Yamuna river will be on top of our agenda, he said.

"Yamuna river is still dirty as against his (Kejriwal) claims of cleaning the river... Modi and Yogi (Adityanath) have cleaned Ganga river as promised. We will make Yamuna Riverfront like Sabarmati riverfront in Ahmedabad," Shah said.

However, a sizeable majority of those present at the public meeting was not convinced by the claims and promises made by Shah.

Bablu Yadav, a migrant and resident of Janakpuri said, "Shah and Modi can only talk but Kejriwal knows how to perform. They keep raking up issues like Ayodhya, Kashmir, Muslims and Pakistan... what are they waiting for if they want to attack Pakistan? They are in power, so why don't they destroy it instead of telling us how wrong Pakistan is?"

Another local Deepak Shrivastava who attended the Janakpuri meeting said, "All we hear from Modi and Shah are pep talks. I am an engineer from BHU and searching for a job. This government has failed the country's youth."

"Now, they have a problem with protests in universities but it is the same youth who brought them to power in 2014. The same youth will ensure their defeat," he added.

The public meeting in Janakpuri witnessed two incidents of pick-pocketing as the thieves managed to steal Rs 37,500 in cash and a mobile phone, police said.

Comments

Indian Soul
 - 
Tuesday, 28 Jan 2020

The biggest ANti-Nationals of INDIA are criminal Modi & AMith Shah Tadi PAAR...how long you will win by EVM...one day the people of indian will teach you a lesion of your life...

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